I'm really going to giggle by the time you get to this blog and to this post.
It's a few days after I told you I give up; by which I meant that I give up on putting my life on hold while patiently waiting for you to get your act together; both with the kids and with us - friendship, union, anything else. Esp after that craziness where you got to release your feelings and then rejected me for releasing mine.
Anyways, I just decided to go have fun.
In whatever ways I feel called to.
And to leave you in what you're telling yourself that your stuck in. You're not actually stuck, and once you stop telling yourself you are and that you "don't know what to do", then you'll be quickly free and laughing about how you made it so much harder then it had to be.
Unfortunately, I suspect that you'll take my surrender to mean I give up on you or us or on you as a father, and will lean into things with your karmic for a bit, and if my visions and knowing are correct, that'll actually trigger her to move onto her next target, while leaving you in the worst ways.
A reality which is led me to trying to stay more directly connected to you so that when it happened you didn't feel completely alone.
Though you've made it pretty clear that your stubborn ass needs to go through it the hard way, and I've realized that sometimes the hard way is the best way. It comes with the kinds of growth that can create miraculous healing much faster then when done gently.
So while in order to give you the space to do that, I'm really gonna let go of the 3d and embrace the absurd by getting back into kink; both personally and professionally.
Which I know is already driving you nuts.
Cuz I know you.
You might never admit to lurking my vids and social medias, but you give away that you do, and I know it drives you nuts that I pretend not to notice.
Though that's part of the fun, esp if you're gonna play the ambigabush game like that.
And I know that no matter how "happy" and "proud" of yourself you say you are with what you have going, you aren't fulfilled or satisfied at all, least of all with the rQoS and the completely boring routine of overworking, paying for everything, and constant flow of drama and conflict; which I know you used to find stimulating but now find both unpreductive and way too predictable.
Plus, you've already said multiple times that you don't feel safe to share the deeper parts of you, and with me diving right into the things you're currently "not allowed" or safe to talk about or explore, I know it's going to both frustrate you and make you laugh yourself silly.
Especially as, I've decided when it's relevant, I'll talk about us stuff.
I won't share sensitive stuff about you, and will only refer to you as my DM or my sub, though you'll know it's you, and what's even better is that you already gave me permission and consent multiple times. Plus, because I'm protecting your name and identifying info, there's really nothing anyone can say about it.
Though you and I both know the rQoS is going to have a lot to say about it when she goes through her routine of lurking my channel and profile. Which she gives away that she does and doesn't even realize how obvious it is, lol.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when you reveal how she takes it. I'm sure it won't be sitting down, and will likely be taken far out of context just based on insecurities.
Either way, I have no problem admitting how amusing I already know this is going to be.
Knowing that I'm literally just pursuing something I already love just because I love it, and getting the happy coincidence of knowing that you'll find it torturously titillating and she'll find it completely frustrating.
I can only imagine all the convos about "why didn't you tell MEEEE you liked that???!??" Lol
If you think me just sharing my feels on fb made me a "thorn in your side", then just what until I really build momentum.
Esp when I get some FWBs to build more experience with, when you'll not be able to tell when I'm talking about you or someone else.
Mwahahahahaaaa 😜
Unless of course you're already broken up as many trusted readers are saying, and you're just getting her out of your house or planning to leave yourself, then you'll just find it even more tempting knowing exactly where my mind is focused.
And the best part of it all, is that I get to help ppl while being a total imp, knowing full on you find that attractive af, lol
