I went to put on my playlist to do some writing too, since our youngest is quad riding and I dont wanna speak my thoughts out loud around him.
The first song that came on with the shuffle, was "nobody knows it but me".
I remember when that song first started coming up.
You confirmed you'd been hearing it too.
It was when we were sharing syncs.
Just like you started doing again with that wagon.
Now it's a song called "Mercy". A newer one I love, cuz it's about a guy asking a girl why she's dressing up and doing things that make him fall in love with her even more. He's asking her to "have mercy" by taking her shot with him if she loves him; and if she's not gonna take her shot, then just get it over with and break his heart. Make it fast.
Both songs together, tell me what you're feeling; and I didn't even turn on the playlist with the intention to know that at the moment.
Feels fitting.
You're so adorable.
You confuse yourself so often; triple thinking things.
Thankfully, I'm not confused anymore, and I know I'm not confusing. I'm very clear.
Ironically, you're very clear too; that's how I know how you feel and what's really going on.
You're sort of like some of the folx spirit has me working with; who tell themselves a story that they aren't "that healed" andor that they're "confused", when really they're very healed and not at all confused. They're just anxious.
Funny; now "Sweet Home Alabama" is on, and all day today and the past few days, I've been seeing syncs to do w/reese witherspoon, who played the lead role in our fav movie by the same title as the song. I just love that. Esp the connection w/lighting and Hart of Dixie.
That's how I see you, you know?
As a man who was; not is, trouble - and mostly only cuz he knows what he wants. He just puts too high a standards in front of himself, when he misunderstoods the standards of the lady his heart gave itself too. A man who feels he has to build himself up to a certain 3d level before he'll feel 'high caliber' enough to approach his lady and feel he can confidently hold his head up proudly without any deceptions and say "I'm ready".
I remember when I told you, before you joined the circus; "be more like wade. He grew so he could be a match to the woman he loves. He didn't give up. He didn't give in. And he didn't let his naughty past hold him back."
Wow. Just accidentally clicked on a new song called "You". It's a guy singing about "I got you for the rest of my days"...that's from you too...
It's funny how signs are all around, that speak our hearts to each other.
If I didn't know this, and hadn't worked on my self esteem - I might still not understand why you've stayed so distant for so long, or why you've had to write yourself lists of reasons not to give into "temptation" with me - which is so funny, as I haven't even fully turned on the charm yet! lol
Thinking bout doing that soon though.
We'll see; I'm enjoying seeing what you're doing with your space to create whatever you want while I'm not "on". Plus, it's really fun and affirming that I don't even have to really be "trying" and you already see everything I do as so tempting and such a "pursuit" of you, that you have to write lists and fill your life with dozens of demanding distractions just to keep yourself from running back to me immediately.
Makes me feel so naturally powerful, lol.
Wonder what will happen if I just turn the charm up a couple of notches? lol
Love always,
Your One & Only =)
