Of course, it's 10:51pm - "7"
I still giggle cause I know that makes you think about your eggplant, while it makes me think about magick, synchroncity and the beautiful spaces between and around us.
Anyways.
I'm sitting in the apartment that we've been discussing renting, considering our next options.
The friend we're room mating with is pretty awesome in many ways; though she's got plenty of codependent tangles that I recognize from journeying with you and the pirates and potatoes. Not 100% sure on it, though it feels intuitively like she was hoping me and Eamon would move in, pay half the outrageous rent, and be available for her oldest. It's likely mostly subconscious rather then a conscious intention, and could also just be my cautious heart.
Either way, I already started reaching out to more friends a few days ago, to see what sorts of options are available for me, Eamon, and Squeak. We have a few options that aren't as nice in terms of inside conditions, though they'd be nicer small town areas and that would make me feel better about Eamon exploring when he feels courageous enough to do so.
Which I know he will soon enough.
Having to leave YH the way we did, not being able to see Joey, and feeling like you don't care enough about him to even answer if you want to see him or not...that's...well, that's a lot...esp after your fam has proved they care more about "winning" and running from their shadows, then being good to him...and then seeing that my fam ain't different...he's doing amazingly well for having gone through all he has - not just this past month; all his life.
Anyways.
I'm excited for future months rolling in.
Spirit says the leaps of faith taken, have altered the spiralcycles for everyone, in alignment with the ending of the 19-20 year cycles everyone was already leaving, and that the "game" has been changed by the ways I approached speaking truth and being "selfish" for once, without having any of the agenda's everyone else does.
Which is good.
If nothing else good comes of any of this; at least the cycles are altered.
New exps are far better then repeating the past over and over; forgetting that you're repeating it and then doing it over and over again. Which is like your history teacher would say, "if you don't know your history, you're bound to repeat it."
