Dear Cabbit...our youngest finally slept in the bedroom w/me all night...

I know...this seems like a funny thing to be happy about...

Though it's more in the conversation that the "aha" happened, then in the actual actions...

You see...for this whole time, unless he'd had melatonin, he always got up after I turn the tv off and start to go to sleep, and goes to gma's room and sleeps in there...

I've tried many times before, to try to get him to sleep all the way through the night w/me...mostly, tbh - just to give Gma a break, and because I spent a lot of time still sleeping in the rv...cuz it's still hard to sleep in that bed w/o you...though I keep trying...w/allowances and grace for myself...for still being human...still having feelings...for still not feeling okay calling it "my room"...cuz it's not...it's not "home"...not w/o you...anyways...

Last night...me and our youngest had a convo that went something like this after the tv went off...

Him: "I'm having trouble sleeping..."

Dear Cabbit...it's because I can still surprise you...

There are many reasons I see, that I know why you "love the way I love you"...

Though in thinking about it throughout the years...

It's mostly because I've always been able to surprise you...

In being different than other women...other people in general...

From jumping on you in the attic...to leaving a permanent feeling on your nipple and ears...

Dear Cabbit...I found my "beach" shirt today...

 It's funny. I was just thinking earlier about what part of the cycle we're in...and how close we are to the point where you jumped into the situationship you're in, which is about the same time you'll both jump out of the situationship...and it was just after that...after our first few uncoupling sessions...when I invited you to the "not a date date lunch date", and right after, tried to see if you wanted chicken strips after I'd gone to the dollar store and saw many syncs, and bought that blew shirt that said "I'd rather be at the beach".

I found that shirt today.

Dear Cabbit...I know you're scared...and up to something...

...and I know you know I'm up to something too...

We tend to do that to each other...lol

Anyways. I know you're almost free. Your silence confirms it actually, as does your actions over the weekend, which were weird, cheeky, and funny af. Especially when I noticed you noticed that I didn't act in the ways you expected, and am still in this moment, not acting the way you expect.

Dear Cabbit...Thievery...still laughing about your trip to the park...(warning, harsh sarcasm ahead..)

 More and more the past few days...

As I've become comfortable w/the idea of just doing my work and allowing you to come back to me for a change....I keep seeing panthers...and black cats..and peaches...

Dear Cabbit....it all works out....

You know....it's funny...

The absurdity of where we are in the cycle...

And w/synchronicities....

I know that if I'm seeing all the syncs and feeling the way I feel, that you're getting a bunch of syncs too, and it's probably making you laugh between the tears as you get free from the circus...

Dear Cabbit...I don't know what you're up to....though I'm curious to see how this plays out...

Tbh, I almost had a panic moment yesterday, when you ambiguously first revealed that you were bringing the remaining karmic and her kids to our youngest sons 9th bday party today. 

The emotions that have gone through my mind, have ranged from: