Dear Cabbit...Phoenix Moments and Healing...Spirit saying, "Here I come! Ready or not!"

I know that today, you're likely very much in your feelings.

Not just because I know things, but because your reaction to my heads up of the potential path ahead, tells me that you're just now dealing with and healing some old feelings you've been carrying around; moreso from the past, then from me specifically - though I've made my mistakes that have contributed too. No one is innocent.

I just know your response was much less to do with "me", and much more to do with what you've been used to from ppl all your life - and that by me being me; being authentic, keeping my faith, and no longer being afraid of anyones reactions, that it feels so unfamiliar - it always has. Like, when I was being insecure, controlling, and crazy - you almost seemed like you felt more reassured. 'The devil you know', and that sort of thing.

Dear Cabbit, I can feel you thinking about me...

I can also feel you working on you today, among your semi-new routine trying to keep things going around the house. I have a hard time not thinking about you too, especially on Monday's, which I know you can feel also. It's hard to go from being used to knowing Sunday's and Monday's were the main days we could talk and hang out, since you didn't have to work - to going to having to leave you alone so you can spend that time with the Queen of Swords...

I'm doing my best to focus on other things, and just work on my Empress vibes, so as to neither invade your energy, nor have so much of mine taken up worrying and wondering and daydreaming about you. Just know, if I pull away, it's only to focus on myself and get my pentacles in. I'm hardly ever so far away, when you want to reconnect. I always like it. It's always nice to hear from my best friend.

Dear Cabbit, strange dreams, intuitive communication, ancestral warnings, bartending, and the absurdity of embracing being "single"...

It's so cold today, I've been using a blanket pulled over the oil heater and onto my lap. Reminds me of back at the Shoreline house, when you showed me how to use the oven to stay warm...I still remember the first time you untucked your undershirt to get the warmth up onto your tummy and chest...it's nice to remember...anyways...I had two weird dreams last night...the first was about your white Truck, acting like Christine (the Fury II) from the movie. It was super pissed, and was trying to drive into your house. It didn't tell me what it was so pissed about, but I get the sense that it doesn't like the idea of you letting anyone use it long term in general, but especially not anyone who is likely to get in trouble when driving it...I don't know if that's it for sure, but it certainly makes me want to help look for a new vehicle...

The second dream was even stranger...I was in your house...in the "kids living room", and there was a display case of animals across the wall. It was mostly different types of rodents. Ginea Pigs, Gerbils, Rats, Mice, Ferrets, and stuff like that. No rabbits that I saw, and no cats. Just smaller rodents, in different tanks. The display case was the kind you'd see at a petco or some place like that. I'm wondering if it's something to do with more pets coming into your house...what do you think?

I noticed yesterday, how many ways we were able to understand each other without words needing to be spoken. Which is something I know we both wished for - intuitive understanding. I really like that we have that. That we have had that. That it's increasing, especially as we both choose to make good self care choices that bring us into clear, healthy, and more consistently sober alignments. Hell, even without those paths, our intuitive communication is already getting stronger.

Dear Cabbit, it all works out

Dear Cabbit..

I saw myself in a dream, writing to you many things. I also saw you writing to me, of many things. 

Then a friend suggested I write a journal, to give to you when we eventually reunite. That felt almost "right". So I thought about it for a while. Then, after I told you I was going to withdraw my priority focus & energy from you for a while, as you learn what you need to learn & prove to yourself what you feel you need to - this blog is that cooperative component.

It also dawned on me, while writing a Facebook post about realizing how each person comes into our lives to teach us something, and offer us opportunities to ask & answer your favorite question, "What do I want?" - that I know now, what we've teaching each other in this life time. 

It's a few things actually:

1. Genuinely Unconditional Love - For ourselves as much as each other.

2. We are Worthy & Adequate; Perfectly imperfect "flaws" & all.

3  We're always together & reflecting each other, even when we're not physically together.

4. Everything's gonna be alright - it all works out.

Then you sent me a message, in response to my authentic message to you, about feeling hurt by some of your recent choices & my decision to continue manifesting a future we will be proud of (that our future selves are already proud of) - you ended that message with "I hope everything works out for you".

Which, at first, hurt.

I felt you feeling like I was saying you weren't adequate.

I felt you feeling trapped in your current situation.