I've had this sense about something likely going to change nearing
the Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Sag tomorrow...especially once I learned
that we're in the pre-shadow of Mercury Retrograde in your sign, and
that there will be a Solar eclipse right before your bday, and another
lunar eclipse right after your bday...
Plus, the readings I watch, have been saying June is the month that things will change...
I
got lost in my pessimism and the "reality" of what was happening and
what wasn't, that I lost connection w/all the possible outcomes that
could be on the table...including the potential of other
timelines...which I realized, don't have to necessarily line me up w/a
different timeline of you...they could simple help me step into a
fast-forwarded version of things or even lead me on a few really fun
adventures while you learn what you need to, awaken, gain enlightenment,
and find your way back to me...
Which...
I might as well enjoy if they do come my way.
Cuz you and I both know once we come into union for real - it'll be just you and me.
No more polyromantic connections w/your toxic ex's, or polyam dynamic talk from me to "even" things out.
We'll always have fun of course.
There just won't be any more of the old bs.
Cuz neither one of us will feel a need for "backup plans".
Nor be afraid to communicate w/each other honestly and authentically.
And
we'll BOTH be in it because we WANT to be w/o being held back by
attachment traumas or toxic entanglements w/toxic friends or others...
That'll be so nice when it happens.
Though there's no need for me to rush it.
I want it to be right this time.
I'm sure you do too..
In fact..
I can sense that you do..
I can feel that you think about it all the time...
Wanting to confess...wanting to tell me..
Before your fear of me falling in love w/or getting entangled w/other guys gets fulfilled.
Which, while the second might happen if my boredom gets to me enough, the first is highly unlikely my dearest Cabbit...
Whether
w/me in the 3d or not, your 5d self keeps me company plenty, and even
if that weren't so, I'm not the type to "fall in love" easily in the
first place, and having a Capricorn Venus placement, I'm like swans - I
pick a partner for life.
And I picked you.
And I'm prepared to go through whatever that means.
Including this weird separation time, where you learn more about life at a distance from me.
And I learn to keep faith and work on myself in the many ways I've needed to for a while.
W/o my desire to "caretake" you becoming my excuse for not doing so.
In anycase, my adorable Cabbit...
I can definitely sense that things are changing significantly...
Not
just from the ways you've changed in how you chat w/me after I remained
silent and left you to really feel what you've manifest around you...
Also in the dreams coming to me...
The tarot readings coming...
The visions I'm getting...
The telepathic communications from your 3d self...
The reassuring synchronicities from your 5d self..
And cuz I'm such an astrology geek that I know eclipses are powerful magick...
Which I knew before, and had confirmed during the eclipses that separated us in Dec and Jan...
Not to mention, other astrologers are calling this eclipse the "boiling point"...
And
all your fav horoscope sites talk about you having been feeling the
need to release your rebound...encouraging you to be brave and do
it...and to trust your friends to help you...me included..
They've also been showing you're at a point where you're seeing the value in being single...
Like
"I told you so" (come on, I had to sneak it in somewhere. Where better
than this blog that you'll read whenever you're ready to come back to
me? lol), that you needed to experience if you really wanted to know
what healthy love is...what genuine happiness is...what it feels like to
love yourself and feel empowered...isntead of weighed down under the
thumbs of others...
To release that w/in you that drives you to basically castrate yourself to avoid conflict w/whoever is your lover at the time...
And to get you to loosen up...
Learn to have fun for it's own sake...
Learn to see that being "single" doesn't mean being alone...
And that there's such huge value in learning not to loose your own identity so thoroughly in others...
Which I realized is your attachment trauma..."Fearful Avoidant" style...
And your karmic rebounds trauma....
Which
I have to giggle at, cuz spirit knew what it was doing when it brought
you two together this round...as you both have the tendency to feel you
need to have an exclusive partner in order to feel like you have an
"identity", which means that neither one of you can ever feel like you
have an idenity when you're together...too much gemini chameleon
energy...
Too much placating...
Too much disingenuousness...
Too much passive aggressiveness...
Too many secrets keep in fear of the one abandoning or rejecting the other...
Too
much reactiveness that means very little in the moment, but which you
both hold onto as if it means everything all the time...
And w/neither of you genuinely understanding what healthy love is, looks like, or feels like...
I know neither of you feel fulfilled w/each other...
And that at some point...
You're both going to awaken from this relationship...
And see that you are both capable of being single and supporting yourselves...
And
see that while relationships can be fun and very fulfilling, there's no
way either of you will get to really exp that so long as your
attachment trauma's lead you to lose your own identities in others..
Especially
as neither one of you have really ever had a chance to discover who you
are w/out relationship, since at least the age of 14...and even before
that w/what you each went through as kids...it's time...it's been
time...
And when you're both at the "Boiling Point" w/the misery you create for yourselves and each other..
When you're both ready to be happy for real...
It's going to be an amazing transformation for you both...
The question at this point, isn't "if" this will happen, but "when"...
You have free will, and a heavier streak of stubbornness than I do...
As does your karmic rebound...
And you have both created such a thorough entanglement beyond just emotions...
So idk if you'll embrace this energy - especially w/Mercury Retro in your sign...
Which I know your karmic also has in her chart...
Meaning you're both feeling the current energies of the moon and mercury extra heavily...
Which I know you're feeling..
Especially
from what my mom and aunt said about you getting tearful when they came
to visit you, tell you they're worried about you, and that you look
terrible and miserable...
And your delayed reaction to me sharing the pics of me from the days when you met me...
And the time when I became pregnant w/our oldest boy...
And the synchronicities your own karmic is being used to show you that you miss "us"...
And
how the universe is creating the right circumstances to make you face
your feelings and go deeper into them then you've ever allowed yourself
to before...
It's time my Cabbit...
My love...
My choir boy...
I'm praying for you...
That you'll start loving yourself now...
In healthy ways..
That you'll see you deserve so much more...
That you deserve to not be treated the way you are...
To no longer treat yourself the way you have been...
To heal and release the wounds w/in you that have been causing you to mistreat yourself...
And allowing others to mistreat you so thoroughly...
It's time to see that you are so loved by your friends, family, kids, and...me...
That you'll never be abandoned by those who really love you...
That you'll never be alone...or even really lonely...
Once you choose yourself...
Once you stop cheating on the future w/the past...
And allow the past to be what it is...the past...
I know this is coming..
I can feel it in my bones...
In the depths of my soul...
You're going through metamorphasis...
You're going to free yourself...
And allow yourself to find yourself...
Which is when you'll once again be the man I feel in love with...
Which will make me happy, even if we never go beyond friends...
Which I know is very unlikely to happen...
Considering every time we've been aligned w/our inner beings and ourselves,
We've felt magnetically attracted to each other...
Yet and still.
I know I really would feel fulfilled myself,
If all I ever got, was to see you find yourself for real.
And learn to be happy as just you in your own company.
And to no longer be afraid of the past remanifesting.
Which will be what stops it from remanifesting...
That day is coming...
I'm excited for it...
I feel like I could go on and on about it...
Though I do need to get some actual work done...
Some I'm gonna end this post for now...
Knowing Spirit has our backs...
And knew what it was doing when it matched you w/your current karmic...
Which will equal awakening for you both when you're both finally distressed enough...
And lead you both to the healing paths you both so sorely need to get onto...
So you can really be happy...
And loved...
And loving...
Okay my dearest Cabbit...
You have my prayers...
And my love...
Forever, always, and completely...
~Empress Bunnie
