Plus..
Quiet frankly...
I'm disgusted with you right now.
Which at very least makes it somewhat easier to de-proritize you...
You've abandoned us.
Replaced us.
Spent all your time trying to make me believe you had all I wanted with you.
Gotten upset when I've dropped in vibe and tried to make you jealous.
You've refused to agree to pay child support.
You pay the phone bill late every month to prioritize your rebound family.
You buy a bunch of unnecessary materialistic junk.
You're supporting two women who you knew from the beginning were scammers and gold diggers + their families and use that as your excuse for why you can't be accountable to providing for your own two kids.
You've been using me and your other ex's to play jealousy insighting drama games with your rebound who plays it right back with you.
You've been drinking so much you forgot all the work we did months ago..and fell right back into the 'other dimension' of narcissim and shadows.
You've lied to everyone and tried to make it my fault, and now pretend why you don't understand why your sister is so mad at you and why the only friends who come to see you are the ones who use you the most and bring the most toxicity with them.
You tell me in one hand that your karmic is a manipulative narcissist who you can't stand, but then when challenged as to why you don't leave or why you put up with everything going on, you flip and try to say that everything is "perfect" with her and that she "never asks anything from you".
You pretend like the only feeling you have for "us" is contempt unless I'm walking away, and then you try to get me back with pity plays.
You said you didn't want to lead me on, and then you did.
And you refuse to own that - as documented in text - I asked you to leave to be on your own and grow up, and you ran away like a cowardly teenager who wants to focus on greed, vanity, and running away from every consequence you've earned through the messes you've made by refusing to face your fears, grow out of your bad habits, and cultivate consistent alignment with your inner being - to be an honorable man that YOU are proud of, who isn't a victim, user, and hurt person who hurts people and then pretends it's their fault for "making him do it".
On top of that, you critisize how awful of parents your "roommates" are, and then refuse to do the minimal ALL parents should do - give your own kids your full attention when they are with you, prioritize them in your life, protect them from getting hurt by your karmics kids or by your karmic yelling all the time about everything, and refuse to do any quality time projects with your kids - all for what?
Your excuse for refusing to find a win/win way to do this, is always the same - that you feel the kids will have to "get used to it" and "put everything together eventually".
What does that even mean?
You've already admitted multiple times that you're not seeing your rebound as a longterm commitment - though you won't admit it's a rebound yet. You say every day how you're disgusted with everything your karmic and her sister do - and say you end up doing most everything for them and their kids. You tell me about their aggressive, disrespectful, and bullying behavior and how they steal and break things all the time. Plus you tell me stories about how your karmics sisters babies daddy has been stalking your house and making you feel concerned about getting shot - yet you can't understand why I'd ask you to PROTECT our kids when they are over there? It's crazy enough that you are with these people, and absolutely insane that you wouldn't think it would be more than reasonable of me to ask that you would protect our kids and put them first. Especially after years of you not doing that with them in the first place, especially our oldest, who has been so starving for a connection with you that is real and wanted by you, that he pretty much gave up on getting it before you even left.
To add salt to that wound, not only did you ditch me and make excuses when I needed you, but now that I've called you out and finally pulled away to focus on myself, you don't reach out and own how you've been a worse friend than you were a partner, you don't apologize, you don't say anything about how what I'm asking for is reaosnable and doable, and you don't try to make anything right.
Instead, what do you do?
You tell me you don't know where to let your tears drop because of things going on with your family in different states, who you refused to make time to go and see or even to call on a regular basis - you even got mad at me for trying to make it easier for you to do. Yet NOW you want sympathy from me? That's really the way you want to restart conversations?
With the most empathy you've offered me being that you suggest I could've reached out to you for help with the car - as in "Boyfriend Chores". You know, the kind that you've always done for all your ex's and "backup plan girls", but then refused to do for me unless I demanded it?
Dearest Cabbit.
I love you and I'm pissed at you.
I'm also not going to let you off the hook with the kids.
In fact, I'm going to continue leaving you be in the mess you've made, until you really learn your lessons and release your karmic cycles.
And this time, it's not to "get you back", it's to get myself back and to keep from getting sucked into your drama and pity parties. Cuz being connected to you lately, triggers me to feel like a victim too, and I detest feeling like that.
The way you've been acting, and my response to you, refreshes my memory as to why I asked you to leave in the first place.
Which fills me with enough strength, resentment, and readiness to focus on and prioritize things that bring me more joy, support, upliftment, fun, and ease.
It also reminds me that although the separation call became way more dramatic than it needed to be, and the way you ghosted us threw me into a frenzy state where I was willing to forgive and forget things if you were willing to put in the energy to really change - as you were showing for a while there, that I need to sit back and let spirit take the wheel.
Which could mean months or even years of you learning your karmic lessons.
Which I don't like having to wait through, but I'm a Capricorn, and damnit I love you - and as you know, I rarely do things without thinking them through; and Spirit reminds me that I didn't call for the separation and tell you to live on your own until you learn who you are without anyone else to blame when things don't go as you want them to, that I knew what I was doing then too.
So now...
It's time for you to learn to have the faith I had to learn to have when you left.
And to decide who you're going to be in each moment:
Cowardly or Honorable?
Empathetic or Narcissistic?
Victimized or Self Empowered?
Faithful or Fearful?
Authentic or Disingenuine?
Accountable or an Excuse Artist?
Good or Shitty to yourself and everyone who loves you?
It's time for you to really be by yourself - either by choice or by force of spirit.
Which you asked for when you danced for Focus.
And clearly you did need to learn that.
Cuz your stubbornness has earned you loosing all the connections you care about and have been feeding off of without caring to really give back.
And with two full moons; one of which is a lunar eclipse, plus all the retrogrades, you and your karmics bdays, your dad and your brother in the hospital, and the patterns you've been telling me occuring in your rebound circus - I wouldn't be surprised if you end up living out of your cars soon, in jail, or fulfilling the dream I warned you about - where you end up in a mental hospital or rehab facility from being driving crazy by your karmics who will clean you out while you're in the hospital.
At which point, I'm not sure you'll have anyones sympathy.
And if any of what comes next drives you to drink more, and you lose your contract at work, that'll leave you truly alone - your worst fear manifested for you to finally face and decide if you'll let it rule your life, or if you'll get off your lazy but, choose self possession, and prove you have all you need to be and do anything you want - so long as you do it from an honorable, grateful, authentic, kind, empathetic, and honest place and stop running away from facing the cleaning up the messes you've made with everyone.
It's time to heal Dear Cabbit.
It's past time.
I hope you choose to listen now.
Cuz it can get much much worse.
Especially when you asked for healing and then kick spirit in the face for giving you what you asked for.
That never goes well.
I love you Cabbit.
I'm pissed.
I'm disgusted.
Though I still have faith.
I can't tell your 3d self that at the moment.
Though I talk with your 5d self and your inner child that I love you every day and night.
They assure me that they're doing what they can to help you come into union with them and allow yourself to be the man you really are - instead of the con artist, victim, and narcissist your ego has convinced you that you are.
I do admit my faith waivers at times - especially as you go on longer refusing to even acknowledge how much of a disgusting jerk you've been to me and the kids.
Though my heart and soul always come back to alignment with my inner being, which sees you as your inner being, even when you're acting like a jerk.
I don't know how long it'll take you to either manifest a forced isolation, or to consciously choose solitude and healing.
Though I hope it's soon.
I miss the real you...
The kids miss the real you...
Your damn cat misses the real you...
And you're making an ass out of yourself to everyone you know...
Uhg...
I could go on and on right now...
Which is part of why I'm not talking to you.
I'm too full of low vibe energy that I worked really hard to heal myself from, and am realizing that I cannot truly release as long as you hold onto your pain and resentment and I hold onto you.
So for now...
It's time to do another of the hardest things for me to do...
To completely deprioritize you and to put myself and the kids first.
Knowing that when the time comes - cuz it'll be obvious.
Until then, all ambiguity, selfishness, and victimhood will be met with silence and apathy.
