It's interesting..
I've been thinking about things since yesterday.
How I've worked to get comfortable with longer amounts of space between us.
With no longer giving all of me, most esp communication wise.
And it feels like...
This is a "first" moment of sorts.
Where I actually feel good about leaving things as they are, even if you run away for good.
Funny enough, I know now that you won't.
Though it feels good knowing I'm healed enough to feel happy no matter what happens.
That feels nice.
To no longer feel singularly responsible for what happens next.
To no longer feel like the world will end if I don't put in all the work meant for you to do..
To feel like there are many grand adventures ahead
And the coolest part; feeling complete faith in you to keep growing and learning and finding your way back to yourself.
Which always leads him back to me and our boys.
Though even if it doesn't this time, I know it'll lead you to genuine happiness.
And so will I.
And that brings me happiness now.
And dissolves the old feelings that I need to constantly keep track of everything or lead it or fix it or do anything.
Which feels very freeing.
Kind of like the positive side to "I have options".
It feels great to feel like we all have infinite options and no matter which we choose, it'll all always work out ❤️
