Like a flock of purple ducks...more like purple swans...floating in sync w/each other, and yet totally not doing the same things at all...
I've tried to post about several of these thoughts...
Though I think for today...keeping my commitment to myself, to become more consistent...is what I'm going to prioritize...
So for the sake of that consistency, I'm simply going to answer what feels like a few of the questions you're telepathically sending me...and say that I can feel you growing...and it's beautiful...I know you're so close...and are going to see that what has felt like "small steps" this whole time, has actually been the imperfectly perfect sized steps to get you to the next few big steps you're about to take...
So...
It feels like you've been asking me, "Do you still even want me?"
Yes. Silly.
I do.
I always have.
I clearly always will.
I'm just not in a rush.
I know where this ship is headed.
It also feels like you're asking, "Am I enough? Are you sure? I'm worried you'll get bored w/me...or that I won't be able to please you..."
Yes. You are MORE than enough.
And yes, I acknowledge there are plenty of growth points still hanging out there, that give you good reason to be concerned about your ability to please me. Though there's something I know, that you'll soon learn - that my satisfaction really has NOTHING to do w/you, or what you do/n't do.
Not just b/c I love you unconditionally - which means you don't need to do anything to "earn" it and there's NOTHING you can do to "lose" it.
It's like the air and the sun and the stars and the moon.
It just "is".
Like Cabbie and Bunnie Rose have.
It's now a conscious being of it's own, that seeks to be expressed through us in the same way our souls use our bodies and minds to feel alive.
The wonderful thing is...
Once you learn that satisfaction CANNOT be effected by anyone else unless you allow it...
You recognize you have all the power...
Then it no longer becomes; who can I get with who I'll be happy with or who can I be w/who won't hurt me like others did?
It becomes; who would be the most fun to share my happy with?
And what kind of contrast would I enjoy most in my relationship?
When I answer those two questions, I feel empowered.
I also feel like I've released you and me from a lot of things I can see now, we really never needed to argue about. Things that actually, you were the one w/the right attitude about it - just let it go and focus on what feels more fun and satisfying to think about.
Funny thing is, you were doing the right thing before either of us knew what that was.
Though you were doing it more from a place of trying to avoid conflict for fear that the resolution process would hurt and be too hard - rather than cuz you recognize we manifest that which we think most consistently about, and having faith we'll work all things out when the time is right, and so have plenty of time to enjoy things in the middle.
And I of course reflected, by pushing hard the other way.
Trying to force us to quickly resolve everything.
Which I see now, is more like taking a shotgun to the elephant in the room, than addressing it...and taking away the power of the problem in the first...which instead made new problems...like what to do w/the now dead elephant in the room...
Wow....I think that's going to deserve a good apology for soon...
Anyways...
I see where I reflected what you were doing..
And I have faith that you're seeing the same...that you were doing to me, a lot of what I was doing to you...we've been reflecting each other the whole time...
And not even w/"bad timing".
The imperfectly perfect timing.
Just like now.
When I am happy doing things on my own and w/you.
Yes, I'd still prefer to spent my time WITH you.
Though in thinking about much of our relationship, we had a pretty equal amount of time together and time apart, and I know we both enjoyed that. Especially those moments when we could enjoy each others presence and ignore each other at the same time.
And we both value and enjoy each others differences.
And both appreciate the time we get to spend w/ourselves.
You in your garage's and shops.
Me in my art and office spaces.
Us both loving the music spaces...together and separately...
See what I mean?
We share so many memories...[
And I know we've both been the most fun to share our happy moments with.
We still have a bit of work to do on having more fun when it's time to share icky moments.
Though I remember a time when that was much more fun too...
Remember?
Some of our friends would even make fun of us...
Cuz our fights weren't really fights and they were quickly resolved w/sass and fire..
And that is definitely the kind of contrast I want in my life.
The kind you provide naturally.
Whether you're "awakened" or in a "drop cycle".
Whether I'm in either state.
I enjoy how being w/you has lead me to enlightenment and becoming the author of my own story.
And I know you have similar things you're seeing that you enjoy about the contrast I provide...
Like when I ask you questions that make you rethink everything you formerly thought to be true about something...
Anyways my love...
I'm at the beach w/our boys the J Fam...
So I'm gonna go back to focusing on that.
Plus, I know you're doing plenty of healing and awakening yourself these days...
Starting to learn to work WITH the energy and moment you build when you work and play...
Rather than pushing the thoughts and emotions away...
I can feel it happening...in a weird way...
Like a "quickening" of the pace of things...
Like a 180 of the last time...
Though now it's entering 270 emergy...
Evolving to another level...
I welcome all the compliment and contrast coming from whatever comes next.
Whether that's a final cycle w/the karmic roommates and ex's..
Or many more small step moments...where you take a step...I recognize it...I take a small step...you recognize it...and we keep moving at that sort of snails pace...such funny slow pokes we can be...lol
Or if it's a huge jump forward...or a huge jump backward...
Or another rebirth...or eclipse moment...
Or time for a sort of word vomit moment of confessions from the confessional booth...
(that would be a fun album name)...
Or whatever it is that comes next.
I happy to enjoy the compliment and contrast that come along w/it.
It is my cherry on top.
And until you andor the universe reveals what that's going to be..
I'll just enjoy me and my fun time w/our boys.
Love always,
~Empress Bunnie~
