My Dearest...
I know you feel like you're struggling right now...
Esp w/you still having the second scariest karmic to get out of your house...
Thankfully, you have already take many first steps - which are the hardest ones.
I know you've even taken several steps to tell her that you're done w/her.
So it feels like the next "first step", is into authenticity - into standing in your truth, and owning your bs.
Which will free you from whatever she's been holding over your head - presumably whatever legal entanglement she talked you into before you jumped in w/her - like a shotgun wedding...which is kind of amusing if you think about it...esp w/how many reasons I gave you for why I didn't want to do it that way...not just cuz I sensed you'd do it and feel trapped by it...but cuz it's unromantic, and often a red flag - esp w/o any of the stuff before it - like properly foolish proposals, and announcing things to the community, and getting everyone involved in the event...
Anyways.
Whether it's that, or something else - I do know it's either something I've predicted, caught in the patterns, been shown by spirit, or something I wouldn't be that surprised by.
Which is part of why I told you not to let anyone put Cabbie in the Corner...
The other reason is, even if there was something you've done that really would cross some kind of finite line for me, you still deserve to be free of those who are trapping you.
Plus, this journey has helped me work out so many things w/in myself that needed healing, and many things w/in our story, that I was literally just telling a friend how much fun it's going to be when we get back together - cuz I no longer need you to change at all.
You can keep the ex's around, and do all the same stuff you've done in the past.
I know how to fill my own cup when you're healing via karmic cycles.
I also know how to hold space for myself - something I though I needed from others.
And I've realized that relationships are the "cherry on top" - that my life is fun and fulfilling and easy all on it's own, and that the only reason for relationships, is to add that extra cherry on top - the intimacy, the fun, the banter, the sharing of life's adventures...
I know how to not lose myself in your story, and how to have faith in you to figure things out for yourself - w/o needing me to constantly warn you or try to steer you away from trouble.
And I also know, the best absurdity in this universe - is that once you no longer need something you want, you get it.
And you've already been showing me how true that is.
Especially w/you tightening the financial belt...
Revealing that you see what I saw in the beginning...
You forgiving me...and forgiving yourself...
You freeing yourself from karmic entanglements...
You seeing how patient and kind and tangibly loving I've always been w/you...
And all the reasons you love me too...
Even simple things, like you letting me know when you need space and when you're going to be delayed, along w/updates as to where you are on the progress line in each area of your life.
It's weird, but it's kind of fun in a way, to do things this way.
I admit, I was very scared when you started to really pull away and I knew I needed to let the axe fall, and send you out into the world to learn for yourself, that I've never been trying to "control" you...that I've been trying to help you save yourself.
Especially as you come back again and again, showing me you're seeing what I clearly showed you before, and now actually doing something about it - w/a smile on your face at least half of the time, seeing how it is kind of silly.
Anyways...my dearest...
I really hope you headed my words from yesterday..."Pay attention to the cycles"...
Cuz as scary as it is to see them and use them to double dutch your way out of the situationships you've been stuck in - what awaits if you let it continue, is going to be so heart breaking...
Especially w/this 360 energy...
Cuz what I'm seeing coming, is even more of what happened w/the ex wife...
This time double time...cuz she's still messing w/your head, while the new one does the same...
In fact...
I have a feeling that was what that dream was about early on...
About two women driving you nuts until you ended up in the hospital...
It might've been them...rather than the sister...even though she's clearly contributed....
Which, tbh, if you need to have that "big stick" energy to really learn the lesson, then we can make it through that too.
So no worries about whatever pace and time you do things in.
I just hope this sense of excitement I've been feeling, and like you're setting yourself free, is really whats happening.
I would so love for you to be able to see the cycles BEFORE they overtake you, and get out of them before they become so unbareable you do end up back in your cars...
Either way...I'll still be here.
And so will Spirit.
You are protected, even when it doesn't feel like it, and you are ALWAYS loved.
Time to love yourself my love.
Forever, Always, and Completely Yours
~ Empress ~
