I have so many mostly completed posts I've been writing to you over the past couple of weeks.
Though either they got into things I didn't feel brave enough to leave on the internet, or no longer felt right to continue writing.
Funny enough, just the consistency of writing to you regularly, even w/o you consciously recognizing I'm doing it, feels more important than anything I actually write in here.
Funny, huh?
Anyways my Cabbit...
I see you.
I know you.
I feel your presence w/me and around me always.
Especially w/that song you sent me a few days ago.
I think I'll probably start writing more again on here.
Though we'll see.
This 180 energy is strange.
And it feels like we're merging into the areas of the timeline where I started this blog...
Which feels like it's pulling me towards not writing on here, as I did before I created it.
Though the 180 is always an evolution leading towards the 360.
So I know it's not going to be an exact "reversal"...
It'll be some kind of growth moment.
Which, if I'm seeing and intuiting things correctly, it feels like it might be entering into the time where we were more connected, and I could tell you directly how I felt.
Which is why I never created this blog before.
I took that connection for granted.
It feels though, like even after we're in union - however far or close off that is...
That I'll keep writing these blogs to you.
Cuz it's fun.
And I know you think it's charming.
Which is why you haven't been keeping up w/it since the first one.
Though it's also the same reason I know you think about looking it up, and will eventually look it up, and be charmed by all of it's messy imperfectly perfectness.
Just as you will be years after our union, not so much for what I say in it...
Moreso just that I write it.
Clearly to you as my sole audience.
Just b/c.
That'll be fun.
A decade from now.
Talking about that time you ran away and joined the circus for almost a year.
When we both learned and grew closer together than ever before while physically apart.
In ways I know neither of us expected would happen, and are both enchanted by.
When I started this blog to you...
Then I kept writing it even after we reconnected...
As sort of my own version of leaving you messages like I've done once or twice on the cl missed connections section...
I can only imagine what wonderfully absurd things I'll have written over 10 years...
Though I know it'll be fun and it'll be interesting, and it'll be totally endearing.
I look forward to the days when I write something that you're like "Hey! That was super sweet..."
And..."That one stings a little, but I'm glad to know it...and I love that you wrote it there..."
I just got a vision of you writing a song about me writing this blog...
Like you have about me smoking cigarettes...and doing other funny things...
That'll be fun too...
I look forward to the ways you'll participate in this...
Until then...
I love you.
And I'm still forever, always, and completely yours.
~ Empress ~
