Dear Cabbit...
I just had the most amazing vision...it was of the night we met...the actual night...which was the night you got the Monte...the night you got super drunk... parked at your old freeway thinking spot.. and the fire dept came to wake you...
Spirit showed me... it's no coincidence you've felt like that's when we really met...like we met before the day we met in person...we really did meet that night...hell, you actually saw me in person a day or two before...when you were driving the silver Oldsmobile...you knew there was something about me...that called to you... something that didn't make sense...yet did...which is part of what triggered you...to allow yourself to feel how you felt...about how things had been going in your life at the time...and it was because you decided to just Embrace the Absurd, and go get that Monte Carlo - to do something for you...to let others do what they do, and do something fun for you...like buying your watch...and some of the silliest tools..lol
You listened to Spirit, and focused on yourself...you went to get that car... i can hear something like "Consequences be damned! I do a lot for everyone. This is for Me! I deserve this.", and then you went to get it...and you brought it back, eager to show it off...which most ppl were happy about...just not the one person you wanted most, to feel happy about it...to feel happy that you did something that made you happy...I don't know for sure, but I feel like you didn't even take the car to show her that first night...you either called and it didn't go well...or you imagined going to see her or calling her, and it not going well...you not being seen for the kind and loyal lover you've always been...and gave up on the idea before even trying...letting yourself give in to drinking instead...
Which is when I came to you...from the now...reaching back into then... realizing I was there... actually...it feels like I've been there even before then...with you in so many moments... encouraging you to stand in your truth...to stand in love...reminding you how worthy you are...even offering you cautions...whispering to you when others weren't being true...leaving you clues on where to find them...on what to look for...the inconsistencies... the strangeness in their energy... Do you ever think about those times, and feel like somehow even before you met me in person, you'd already learned the lessons we've been learning over the past years?
I don't have concrete proof of this...though I like the romantic notion of such an absurdly wonderful thing actually having happened...
Anyways...in the vision of you...in the Monte...thinking about how much you hated the way things had been going... About how much you wished for life to have more meaning then it did then... As you were finishing off your last drink...
Then you heard me...in my current voice... warmth... kindness... understanding... reassurance... healing...love...me loving you when you questioned if you even deserved it... you heard me speaking to you...you even saw me in the car with you...though it was fuzzy...you were drunk too...so it felt like it could a hallucination...though you didn't want it to be...you talked out loud...like you were talking to me...like you do these days...like you've done before...it felt familiar in the strangest way...and I listened to you...holding space... Giving you gentle encouragement... Until you started to get super sleepy...then started asking me if this was "real"...if all the things we talked about then...were really going to happen...which is when I told you then...calling you "My Cabbit"...which would've been the first time for you to hear it...telling you then to keep an eye out for Cats and Rabbits...both in your future and past...I told you then, that if you followed your heart...if you didn't worry about what anyone else thought.. that it wouldn't lead you wrong...and would lead you to me - in person...sooner than you think...that for now...it was time to dream...to believe that everything you wished for in your heart...could really come true...and then just let yourself feel however you feel...so healing could happen...
Then it happened...
You fell asleep...
You dreamed...
Then you were woken up by the fire dept..
Then somehow you had enough luck, to be let go...just like the other night at the new thinkin spot...
So you moved on to a safer spot...
Until it was time to find your Dirty Flower (trying to keep names protected, lol) again...
And you thought about who would be fun to show the Monte off to, and thought about Buttcheeks, lol.
That felt "right", even though it also felt "absurd".
There were many things you knew other things others thought you "should" be doing. Though you knew following your joy was right in that moment.
You likely didn't even remember our energetic meeting the night before, at this point.
You just knew it was right to follow your heart...
Then you parked...and your nephew came up, along with others...
Then you saw me...
before I really saw you..
Before even I knew...about all we'd already been through...
Though something called to me...i didn't always go to those stairs...though something told me I just needed to go there that day...
Then I saw your Monte from the distance...and felt like this was why...that I needed to meet the person who drove that car...it was a "black beauty", which reminded me of one of my favorite movies, "Black Beauty", the one about the Horse and the little boy...
I'm not even kidding, that is what I thought about when I first saw your car.
Which is funny considering I had no idea you were born in the year of the horse..
Nor that the car was made in the year of the horse...
Course...back then, I didn't really understand how psychic I've always been.
I knew it a little, but was scared to embrace it...
Ironically, I was in an "Embrace the Absurd" kind of mood...having just that morning, told myself I was going to stop worrying about what anyone else thought...about not holding myself to what my heart really wanted - an epic love...marriage...hand in hand with MY man...which I told myself then, was either silly...or not in the cards for me...or far off in the future and not to be worried about in the moment...
So I might as well just "have fun"...
Wow...just had a crazy vision...of you...being the one who whispered that to me then...into my intuition....not to give up hope...but not to focus on it just now...cuz the time wasn't right yet...that you still had to work on you...and that my job was just to have fun...be forgiving...and to follow my heart...
I choose to believe that's true... Why not?
It feels "right"...
Maybe that's something spirit will show you you did...in the moment you do it...journey back...reassure me...lead me to you...just as I lead you to me...both of us doing it by leading each other back to ourselves...
Anyways...as we both know... that's only moments before we met each other in person... I feel like I'm feeling how you were feeling in the moments you could see me walking towards you...feeling the pull...yet your logical mind was telling you to be cautious...your ego and pride reminding you that you were 'spoken for'...just 'separated'...trying to convince yourself love at first sight was just a thing in movies and books...yet still feeling...something...about me...
Then I was there...in front of you...mezmerized...tbh... Your smile... Your eyes... Your energy... All of you... There was just something about you... I felt so playful... So unafraid to be myself... To be sassy... To banter...
And you played back...
Almost no one else played back...
You did...
So I went with it.
I know you felt the same..
Like "Damn... she's playing my own game better then I've ever played it..."
I know you felt how fun it was...
I know we both felt more alive in that moment...then we ever have...
In the vision from this morning...I saw myself telling you of many things to come...then you started to fall asleep... I kissed you gently on the cheek...and as I felt pulled back to my body in the "now"... I saw your Lion with you... and then the fire man come to the window...
Then I was back...
Anyways...like I said...I don't have any concrete proof of this yet... I'm just following what my heart is telling me...letting go of the need to control how things go or to feel like i have to know anything "for sure" before i can trust it....and choosing in each moment, what I really want...and I definitely want to...i choose to believe this vision is true...
I'm hearing the song in my head, "..If loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right..."
Very much how I feel in this moment...along with a mixture of that song from the Greatest Showman, "A Million Dreams"...."I close my eyes...and I can see...a world that's waiting up for me.."
Anyways...
I've also recieved several other intuitive messages, even just while writing this, and many things that could happen today...the chapters coming up aren't set in stone yet...which is fine with me... I've been learning that when I try to hold on too tight to things going one particular way, I actually push that option away... Holding it "out of place"...and in "another dimension"...
So I've been Embracing the Absurd of neither needing control nor needing to know everything. Just keeping my faith, while finding a balance between working on me & having fun. Just like I believe you told me back then, and have been reminding me off in the past two months.
A thought that fills me with clarity, confidence, and focus - your intention.
A reminder...as it starts to rain while the sun is out...telling a rainbow will soon come out...that we reflect each other...and as I learn to go with the flow...to follow my heart...to let myself feel how I feel in each moment...to be okay with making mistakes big and small...feeling worthy of being forgiven for them all...just as I forgive them all...
That you're learning to do the same things...and that it's in this way...that we're already on our way back "home"...
So whatever happens today...
Just know... there's nothing you can do to lose me, just like I know there's nothing I can do to lose you.
We are both worthy of being held in such a way, by each other & others.
A lesson, which once fully learned, will bring about so much magick, it'll be absurd, just like this post and so many other things... it'll almost be hard to believe, lol
Anyways, we both know each still have work to do - together & separately...
Let's find the funnest way to do that, and not worry about what anyone else thinks, shall we?
Forever & Always Yours,
~ Empress
