And being that Sept is quickly approaching, I have this pending feeling that's growing w/in...which was there before those readings came up. Hence why I see them as confirmation, along w/the personal readings I've gotten from a couple of trusted readers, rather than taking them as the oracles of what's coming. Learning to trust my own intuition and the confirmations that come AFTER them, rather then before them...
It's interesting though...as free will is so much at play, and you are naturally such an indecisive and sensitive being, that you nearly every day, in thoughts as well as actions - in terms of what you want to do. Heck, you often change hour by hour - making you predictably unpredictable, and making it hard to have more than a general sense about what's going to happen. It really forces me to go w/what my heart knows to be true...which is to disregard your current karmic behavior, and keep having faith that you're coming around in your own time...
Anyways...Sept is when I've been told and retold, is when you'll reach out.
Some have said you'll just pop over by surprise one night when I least expect it, ready to explode w/the truth of all that has been happening, that you are so in love w/me and don't feel deserving of someone as 'high caliber' (your words) as me to have remained chaste in anticipation of your return w/out desperately and suffocatingly 'waiting' for you, and that you are so done done done w/all the karmics of the past and present, and getting yourself free to be the father you know you can be, and the DM I deserve for you to be - esp 'now' (being in that moment) that you see how easy and worthwhile it is to do that, and that I will NEVER be like anyone else you know or are used to; which is also the reason you can't hide how much you love me, despite how hard you try.
Others say it'll be small steps...breadcrumbs...immature approaches...then they'll grow as sept comes and goes, and that by Dec you'll be free and tell me; as you might decide to wait until then, when the lease will be up on your house, and you can be free of the karmic by simply not renewing the lease and not signing any new ones w/her anywhere else.
Others say there will be lots of signs in Sept, and then in Oct, near the anniversary of the day we met - 20 years ago by then...and ironically, on a full moon in Scorpio....you'll surprise me in some special way, and make it very clear to me how sorry you are for how you've acted, and seek to know if I really am capable of forgiving you for all you've done, and trust you to be the man I know you can be and would be if you'd release control and heal those traumas...
Others say there will be just synchronicities and quiet in sept, as tower after tower continues to take over your life, increasing the more you try to avoid either standing up for yourself and having healthy boundaries w/the karmic, or just ending the karmic cycle w/her all together - either by asking her to leave, leaving yourself, or going to court to get her removed from the lease and getting a restraining order to protect you and us from what you fear she'll do when you finally do stand up for yourself.
Some have been predicting that if she hasn't tried it already, she'll be trying to keep you longer by faking a pregnancy, or by getting pregnant by someone else and saying it's yours; while others say that if it hasn't been made very clear already, that spirit will show you that she's already had multiple other partners and "backup plans" in the waiting. Not just as her plan of what to do when she's ready to discard you or when you finally man up and end things w/her, but as a means to fuck w/you, gaslight you, and use your reactivity and shame cycle to stay w/her longer.
And w/o any coincidence that I can see, there are ZERO readers that are saying that there's any part of her that is staying w/you because she genuinely loves you. They are all saying, and have been emphasizing for the last few months, the only reasons she's staying w/you and doing all she can to keep you entangled w/her, is because she doesn't want you to be happy and doesn't want me to feel like I 'won', as she is even more positive than I am, that the minute you're truly free of her, the first thing you'll do is seek to make things right w/me and the kids. She doesn't want that, and she doesn't want to see you glow up w/o her. Which she knows will happen the minute you two separate, as she's the largest reason you have no money, no abundance, and a million chaotic problems that only seem to increase the longer you're together.
I'm sure she thought I would create enough problems, and be selfish enough to take you for all the money and time and emotion you could give, so she'd be able to make you believe it's me that's preventing your happiness and abundance, but because I've never been like them and never will be, that plan has backfired and continues to. As does her attempts to try to get me to keep her away from family gatherings, or to get pulled into dramas between you and her, or to get upset when she does everything she can to take up every ounce of your time, emotions, money, and energy.
It's actually kind of amusing.
It's like...the less hard I try to keep you or claim you or get you to do what I know is right and the more I allow her to be as much or as little a presence in our families life as she wants to be, the harder she seems to be trying to hold onto you and seal her own fate w/you - esp as she creates such toxic and smothering dynamics that even you cannot just passively allow them to continue, and your own temper gets the better of you.
Which just affirms for me that all I need to do is keep working on myself, keep having fun w/our boys, and to not worry about you or her at all. Not to ask you for money or to bug you about completing coparenting talks so you can see the boys again, and to only reach out when it feels in alignment w/my inner being. As I have been w/the goodmornings and such.
And even those I've felt less inclined to send. Not just because I'm getting more used to focusing on my work and not spending so much time worrying about you, but also b/c I know the less I send, and the less I reach out, the more cold it feels in your life w/o me. I know - esp w/your fear of making new friends, that you don't have anyone in your life aside from me, who brings warmth, genuineness, empathy, and unconditional love into your life.
I also know the less I reach out to you, the less I give the karmic as "ammo" to gaslight you with, and the more times she reveals her true colors to you. Same in reverse too, as I know you've been trying to blame me for your crazy making behaviors to her also - you reflect each other, and that's exactly the reason you manifested each other for this karmic learning lesson. Which means you have less you can blame on me or anyone else also, and that confirms for her, that your lack of desire to spend real time w/her isn't about anything I'm doing or not doing. It's b/c you genuinely don't want to, and never did. That you have been using her as much as she's been using you - and largely for the same reasons. To avoid facing your true feelings, to avoid having to grow, to avoid accountability, and to feel like it's acceptable for you to be greedy af. To be w/someone who is okay w/you stepping on others to try to get ahead, including each other.
Though the irony is, I bet you both thought that the two of you would only ever be dicks to 'other' ppl and not to each other. Though that's not how it works. If you'd be just as okay scamming and using strangers, family, children, and ex's to try to protect and inflate your own egos, you will definitely do the same shit to each other. Esp when you run out of other ppl to blame, scam, or manipulate. Which, from the sounds of what you said in the beginning - that she has ZERO friends who'd be up for helping her, even w/major life changes, and since you both cut out her sister rather than ALL of you being accountable for your bs behavior towards each other, it sounds to me like you're all out of other ppl to blame or shift focus onto. Which means all your contrast must come from each other - which will be emphasized when both of you find yourselves feeling uncomfortable w/the lack of extreme emotional states when the relationship starts to "normalize" and get "boring". I have a feeling actually, that even though it's only been a few weeks since it's been just the two of you and her kids, that this process has already started, and is the cause of that 'unexpected' and 'weird' chaos you said occurred a few weekends ago, when she demanded to go to our youngests bday and then to go to be w/you in whatever way you wanted to spend time w/our boys...which only seemed confirmed by when you finally reached out to ask for an 'outline' for what we need to talk about so you can see the boys again...and you couldn't 'focus' for even a few minutes to be able to have a conversation you initiated, lol...
Either way, I know from your lack of responses to my outline - which basically just called you both out for not being examples of how to be a decent and empathetic human being, and that you've not just arranged for us to have an hour on one of your days off to hash this stuff out, and yet you're reaching out to have pleasant 'small talk' convos every day...including you saying you're 'just going through the motions' these days, that you are already emotionally done w/that situationship, and going nuts having to deal w/all the chaos, complaining, neediness, smothering, toxicity, conflict, combativeness, and 'interference' coming from yourself as well as from her...
Wow...this is kind of funny...as I'm writing this, there is a couple to my left at the park, that are arguing...the woman told her bf, that she was upset about something he did but wouldn't explain, and was saying that she was going to start doing things he asked her not to. He asked why, and if it was about something that happened after she got out of the bathroom. She said no, and that it was about him having naked women on his phone. He whispered something and walked off, and she said loudly - "What? I have naked men on my phone? I've never seen any. What? Really? Now you're gonna go and cry?"
The women looks very much like your karmic, and acts very much like I've seen her act - that she's even boasted that she enjoys acting like...
Feels like a confirmation...and like the readers that continue to predict you're going to just show up one day soon, and be ready to lay your head on my lap and let it all out....are very right...
And you know...as upset as I feel w/your behavior, and as much as I'm grateful for you to go through these lessons w/her so you learn to love yourself and appreciate me, I still feel bad that you're going through that...and that in your attempts to hold onto that toxic situationship, that you've virtually ruined all the friendships and family connections you had...not that any of them were less toxic, but you felt more secure having them...and now you don't even have those...and not b/c of anything I've done. All by your own conscious choice, and b/c you invested yourself in someone who doesn't understand what love, appreciation, or emotional security look like or why they are necessary...which is...unfortunately, how you were w/me for all these years...
These are painful lessons my Cabbit...very painful...
Even if I couldn't feel what you're feeling in a literal sense, I would still feel bad for you.
Even moreso because you blamed me, and genuinely believed that running from accountability and maturity w/me and the kids, would somehow make you feel better...it really is very very sad.
Either way...I'm hear...whenever you decide you're ready to be genuine, accountable, and to finally stand in your truth...my lap and my shoulder are always yours...and will never come w/the "I told you so" string attached. Cuz that's not necessary.
I just want you to feel genuinely happy, and know that you won't until you learn these lessons Spirit has set up before you...and that really...you've manifested for yourself...
I can't wait until the day you feel grateful for this pain...and see that w/o it, you would've lived and shallow, greedy, and painful life for the rest of your days...
Until then...I'm praying for you my love...and waiting to see which outcomes unfold...
