You know...it's funny...
There are many things I could be most excited about...and I'm sure there are many parts of our mind that believe it has to do w/having you physically andor financially...but that's not it...
You know what it is?
It's that first REAL hug...
That moment when you sink your face into my neck and let the waterfalls soak into my shirt...
When you come to me...a seed freshly cracked open...seeking a safe space to lay your head and rest...and just be...and not need to worry about anything...at least in those moments...whether it's only for a few moments...or for hours...or days...or weeks...however long or short...those moments...when I can be your safe space....when I feel your trust for me...your desire to experience w/me, what you've never been able to w/anyone else...when...b/c of all this messy chaos we've been through...you express the different level of enlightened appreciation for just who we each are for each other...how healing our relationship has always been, even in the darker moments....even when all has seemed lost...we've always had each other...
And that moment...when you hold me tighter than ever...and say very simply say "Thankyou...for never giving up on me...thankyou..."
And "I don't understand how you do it...but I love that you do it...I love the way you love me...and I love that you want me to be the one who loves you...I love that you appreciate all I've been through...and that you really see me....and get me...and give me so much grace...and lead me back to myself whenever we interact...and that you are somehow the most loving person ever, and yet you don't take my crap...and you show me how to have healthy boundaries...and that somehow you can do absolutely nothing wrong and still be the biggest threat to every ex I've ever had...just because you're you...kind...and loyal...and thoughtful...and giving...and smart...so so smart..."
Tbh, even the moments leading up to those above moments...when you have moments of enlightenment and awakening...and reveal to me that you understand...that you 'see'...and that you appreciate yourself, and me, and Spirit - for all that you've been through...even the hard stuff...I love those moments when we talk, and you show me that you're growing...
Like when you gave me that money for the kids snacks, and realized just how powerful it is for you to decide to trust me - and to acknowledge that you trust me...which...while I know that was more a moment of you practicing that sort of thinking, than actually feeling it (still VERY beautiful)...it shows you're not just "trying", you're DOING...and just in you being willing to do that, you become receptive to us showing each other magick...and to allowing in abundance of good things...emotions...money...memories...somanythings...
It's not a "king of cups" moment...it's more of a page learning to be a knight of cups moment...but it is STILL so sweet...and so endearing...and so magickal...I love each of those moments...when...b/c I've chosen to stay faithful w/o being codependent...and followed my intuition and my heart, that I've been able to be there at the right time and place, for you to reveal to me those intimate heartfelt moments...and even reaffirm for yourself, that while I'm not perfect...I am the imperfectly perfect person for you...and you for me...
Those are the moments I cherish most...and look forward to most...
