About getting ready for interviews and applications, thinking about what he'd like to apply for.
He decided to use that as his topic of discussion in his counseling session too.
Then today, I talked with our youngest about how to properly deal with frustrations and anger that he's not sure where it's coming from and needs healthy outlets for. Then we talked about cutting his hair. He decided he didn't want to put into the effort to train it to stay out of his eyes or wear any hair accessories to help with that, and would rather have his crew cut back.
After both conversations, I felt sad.
Because you're missing it.
Reminds me of the scene from hook when Peter's wife throws his phone out the window and tells him that he's got to stop focusing on work and play with his kids, cuz he's missing the best years he'll have with them and soon they'll be so wrapped up in everything else they won't want anything to do with him.
That he needed to take the time NOW, not later.
Not after other priorities.
I remember having that conversation with you several times.
Unfortunately, you didn't listen and there was no Captain Hook to take your away to Neverland and help you find yourself again.
At least..
Not unless that's the roll of the rQoS..
Hmm..
Maybe...
Either way.
I can't help but feel so sad at how much you've missed already.
And how sad I feel that you'd currently rather allow everything to fall apart and follow in your dad's footsteps; blaming everyone else for the cowardly walk off the plank rather then learning to fly and play and to apologize when you mess up.
I'm trying to hold onto faith that you wont do that..
That you just need time to create space and find the words you want to say..
I hope I don't have to be patient for too much longer...
And even moreso that the boys don't have to wait much longer...
Cuz while they miss you..
You're missing them..
And you'll deeply regret it if you allow that to continue to happen in favor of a messy miserable life...
