Not just between us; in all areas in your life.
That's Spirit saying you've been accepting less then you deserve for far too long.
It told me it was the same for me.
And guided me to do the work to cut our 3d ties and be your reflection.
The energy you gave; I gave.
Up until the day you helped tow the car.
Which was a hard day.
My choices were:
*Ignore everything and hold things in, keeping myself stuck and feeling dishonest.
*Be nice just to enjoy a breadcrumb moment no matter how upsetting it was that you've hurt and screwed me over and couldn't even just say "Yes. I'll help you after work.", knowing that would keep us in the same cycles...
*Be honest about how I was feeling at the moment, such as big feels. Esp with you acting like there was nothing wrong with what was happening, and not showing any Gratitude for how you use me as your therapist on top of everything else. I knew sharing a big in the moment feeling would likely create a big reaction. Though in the moment with tears like waterfalls falling from my chin, I knew the only reason not to say it, was my old fears of being too much, screwing everything up, andor you hurting me because you didn't have the maturity to own how much and how hard you've hurt me.
Then things lined up on their own.
The state stuff, counseling, and even today's message.
Leading us to where we are.
Where I know that you are cutting everyone out and learning how to end things, choose yourself, and stop giving your energy to those who will only use you then discard you.
Much as you've done with me.
Now is time for prayer and faith.
The boundaries are set.
You're in action mode and taking leaps of faith just like me.
I have faith that when you've gotten yourself into your studio castle and had a minute to breath, and I've recollected myself, we will re-member each other and all will be well.
Better then before actually.
Until then,
I love you and I look forward to the day you see why I did what I did, and see how grateful you are that I did.
