That's all the kids needed...
Just that sweetness..
That playfulness..
That empathy..
To be at least ONE of your priorities..
Had you done that..
Had you been the one to ask about them..
About their birthdays..
About their special days..
Had you asked about my family before I called to cut away at strings...
Had you not allowed yourself to be cowardly cowed by fear of the rQoS tyrannical drama...
Had you stood up for yourself..
Your family..
Your kids..
Your own needs..
Had you put money aside for yourself..
Had you stuck to your plans when you first moved out and not gotten sucked into her web until you felt so drained you had nothing left for you, let alone us...
We wouldn't be where we are..
In this hard place..
Better rocks and prickly bushes..
Though take heart my love...
As much as I humanly question things myself...
I trust..
I trust you and the patterns you've shown me this last year...
I trust the old patterns you've found yourself back in...
I trust the Intuition I had that I needed to stand up to you and share some of my ickier feelings...
To push you as far as possible until you had enough...
Because while I am stuck in the thorn bushes too..
Spirit fills my heart and mind with the vision that this thorn bush is actually a rose bush...
We just can't see the flowers from in the middle of the bush...
And need to untangle ourselves from it in order to see what we've really grown together...
I know you'll see it soon...too...
