After she heard who you were with..
And talked to you..
And assessed things herself.
She told me that in her mind, the rQoS got in the middle of OUR fights.
What's funny, is that the thoughts on my mind about it rn, aren't so much to do with how you try to play dirty like that, but actually that I feel really bad because this whole time you've thought you were stuck, when really, it's her whose stuck.
And with an ego like hers, that's really got to suck.
You and I are soooo deep.
In our fighting as much as our loving.
And obviously you've been torturing her more then I have! So naughty! Lol
It's interesting to have seen how things have unfolded.
Esp after rewatching that movie.
I'm still laughing about all the scenes I forgot about, like "what did you think I was doing that first hour? I was learning your tells. And consequently, your biggest one is...."
What's bestest about that, is that I wasn't trying to do that this past year, but that did happen.
I was already used to being hypervilgant about your tells from having to be so Intuitive with you far before the seperation; and now, after the past 14 months, I have seen you from a whole new set of angles.
And it very much feels like throughout that time I've learned all the tells you have that I couldn't see when I was sitting right next to you.
Mostly cuz you're so silly about being afraid of vulnerability and authenticity.
Such a silly Cabbit.
I wonder also, have you learned my tells yet?
I know you've been trying to look for the ways I'm like your ex's and karmics.
It's really cute at this point, that you're trying to claim my and the boys demand that you apologize properly for how you've behaved, is me being "controlling".
And that it ever was that when I expected you to do so with me before you left.
*Sigh*
If only I'd had the clarity then, that I do now.
I wouldn't have done much different.
Our journey is adorable so far, and I love that.
Though I do think about how many ppl told me that if I just worked on me and had fun, leaving you in your hot mess, that you would've been out of it by now.
I laugh at myself.
To think I was worried I didn't mean enough to you.
Or that she meant more.
Or that if I didn't keep in touch, you wouldn't have freed yourself and found Spirit.
After all this time, one of the biggest tells I've found to be most consistently true with you; your immaturity gives you away.
Just like it did when we were together.
Though now, despite your best efforts to hide in others shadows, you out yourself again and again.
I look forward to when you no longer feel the need to approach things like that, and can face your fears.
And face yourself.
Then you won't have any problem facing me or anyone with shitty opinions that you shouldn't have listened to before.
